Living at home like hotel

I wake up this morning, thinking about why sometimes parents tell their kids off by saying:”Do you think you are staying in a hotel ????.

In fact, there are similarities when we take things as granted.

At Home: 24 hours access with a key, anytime you want, as long as you are the member of the house.

At Hotel: 24 hours access with a key, anytime you want, as long as you are the customer of the hotel.

At Home: You walk in your room, do your own thing, no speaking to anyone, though there COULD BE SOMEONE at home.  Anyway, it does not matter.

At Hotel: You walk in your room, do you own thing, no speaking to anyone, and there is NO ONE anyway.  Anyway, it does not matter.

At Home: You go to the kitchen, if dinner is there, you have it.  If not, you make your own dinner.  Either way, dirty dishes stay in the sink.  There is always someone to make dinner and clean the mess.

At Hotel: You call your room service, have your dinner, leaving the dirty dishes out the door.  There is always someone to make dinner and clean the mess.
 

At Home: It never crosses your mind the need to do any housework.  Mum/siblings will do it.  Better still, some will have their maids to do it.

At Hotel: It never crosses your mind the need to make your bed and tidy up your room.  There is always hotel staff to do it.

 

At Home: You don't take rubbish out.  It could be full with awful smells but it stays where it is with its lit.  Someone will empty it at their own time.

At Hotel: You don't take rubbish out. It could be full with awful smells. But it stays where it is with its lit, the housekeeping staffs will empty it with set schedule.

At Home: You do what you like, anytime you want.  There is no need to report to anyone. You may just INFORM your parents you will be late, only if you want to.

At Hotel: You do what you like, anytime you want.  There is no need to report to anyone.  You just INFORM the hotel staff to keep message for you, only if you want to. 

Interesting... isn't it?

Bad day with teens

There are reasons some kids and teens drive me nuts nowadays. 

They have NO RESPECT to the authority in family.

You say what you like.  They do what they like.

You don't need to give them their rights, they just claim it whenever they like. 

You can set the house rules, they HEAR you and IGNORE.

They INFORM you they will be out and late though you have set the time they need to be back. 

A text message is what you get.  You have no idea where they go, what they do, who they are with, what time they will be back.

Just a message and you have no say.

You could be a fool thinking that you can patiently talk to them and work out a plan.... NO... Foolish idea.
You could be a fool expressing that you care for their safety.   Again... Foolish idea.  Who cares whether you worry or care.

Are they bad?  Probably not.

Have they done anything wrong?  No drugs, no drinking... they will say no, they just give themselves their own rights to enjoy late outing with friends..... 

Do they care about those at home who care for them?  May be ? ? ?  Just not enought for them to do what you want  because they believe they know it all, Nothing bad will happen, they can take care of themselves and are entitled for good fun.

Interesting enough, when they decide to go out late, have funs, drink and drive, they are grown up.  They are never a grown up to cook dinner, doing houseworks or offering help at home.  Not even the simple task like taking out the rubbish.

This is when we say.... Communication Gap , Generation Gap.... whatever it is, don't expect them to do what you want. 

There is a funny chinese joke : "It is better to give birth to barbecue pork, at least I can eat it..."

Awfully frustrating.

I can be nice, you are free not to take it

My niece enjoys lying on her bed, keeping up close to her laptop to watch movies/read ebooks, sometimes, even in the dark. 
After multiple attempts of reminding her it is bad for her eyes, i have decided to buy her a study table and chair.  Back in my mind, I hope she appreciate the present and take good care of her eyes. 

The day when the new study table and chair arrive she saw them, but ask no questions. 

I: "I bought you a new table and chair, don't you like them?"
Niece: "That's ok...."

I : "Do you need help to bring them to your room?"
Niece: "No, I will do it after my interview next Monday."

A few days after the interview, the study table and chair are still in the living room...
Thinking that she might be too tired after her fish and chips job at night, I decided to move the study table and chair to her room for her.
I : "I have moved the table and chair for you.."
Niece: "I have a different idea on how I want to place it...."

After a couple of weeks, the table and chair remain where they were and I saw my niece still lying on her bed... still keeping up close to her laptop... still do it in the dark.
I : "Why don't you use the table and chair?  It is really bad for your eyes..."
Niece: "It is more comfortable to lie on the bed...'
I : "Do you use the table and chair at all?"
Niece: "Seldom...."

I :"What are you watching?
Niece: " I am reading ebooks.."

After a few silence moment.....

Niece: "Are you bored? Don't you have something to do? You are bothering me"
I : "I quite like the table, if you don't need it, I will move it to my room.."
Niece: "Ya... go ahead."

Rather than being upset with the unappreciative action and comments, I choose to enjoy the new study table and chair and put them to good use. 

I choose to let go that I can't make her take good care of her eyes. After all, she is an adult, isn't it?

The morale of the story is:
You can be nice and do all you want with good intentions, but it does not mean it will be appeciated or needed.  So, don't be upset with it. 
We choose to be nice, to help, to offer and to worry for someone because we want to.  The other party has the option to accept or not to.   So....... no hard feelings.

Inspirational Quote - L

Leadership

Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
(Peter F. Drucker)

A leader takes people where they want to go.  A great leader takes people where they don't necessarily want to go, but ought to be.
(Rosalynn Carter)

Effective leadership is putting first things first.  Effective management is discipline, carrying it out.
(Stephen Covey)

Inspirational Quote - H

Help

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.

(Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Inspiration - Quote A

Ability

Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.
(Malcolm S. Forbes)

Asking the right questions takes as much skill as giving the right answers.
(Robert Half 1947-2007)

Action

The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything.
(Theodore Roosevelt 1858-1919)

Knowing is not enough; we must apply.
Willing is not enough; we must do.
(Johann Wolfgang van Goethe)

Any supervisor worth his salt would rather deal with people who attempt too much than with those who try too little.
(Lee Iacocca)

People are always blaming circumstances for what they are.  I don't believe in circumstances.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and it they can't find them, make them.
(George Bernald Shaw 1856-1950)


Accomplishment

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)